Coffee Talk

If we were having a cup of coffee I would want to chat about...

How to get exactly what you want for Christmas (or your birthday, or Mother's Day, or Valentine's day, or any time!). I was recently listening to a podcast on this topic and loved it so much that I had to share it with y'all because...tis the season for gifts! Sometimes we wives can create expectations in our head for a certain gift or a favor that we really, really, really want and hope our husbands will magically gift or do for us.

Examples: I hope he makes dinner reservations at my favorite restaurant for my birthday -- and invites our friends. Or I hope he gets me a spa day for Mother's Day because dang, doesn't he know I'm tired? Or I wish he would volunteer to clean the kitchen because I just busted my tail cooking. Or I hope he tackles bath time because I've run out of patience tonight. Or I wish he would bring me flowers and whisk me away for our anniversary weekend. etc. etc. etc.

If there is something in particular that you really want, your odds for getting it go up tremendously if you simply ASK FOR IT. If that feels too direct for you or you prefer the element of surprise, maybe you opt for a more subtle route and dog ear a few catalogs around the house. Or maybe you're the kind of person who will be happy regardless of the gift, even if you get a toaster. For the rest of us, I'm definitely not advising you to march up to your husband and demand a particular gift, but if you do have something in mind that you want you can subtly say "In case you're looking for an idea for me for Christmas, I'd really love..." Oftentimes we think the people around us should just know what we want, but your husband can't read your mind no matter how long y'all have been together. So this Christmas make it easy for him. Send him the link to that purse you've been swooning over and tell him which color you love. Or mention that you'd love a weekend away together for an upcoming special occasion. He may even appreciate the direction so he doesn't have to guess what you want.

I know. I know. Some of you are thinking exactly what my girlfriends always say too when this conversation comes up..."yeah, but Matt is always surprising you with thoughtful gifts and favors." And it is true. He is insanely good at surprises or picking up on what I like. But you know what? A lot of times I tell him what I would love to have or do for that special occasion. Heck, I ordered some of my Christmas gifts for Matt to wrap and give me!

One last but super important thing -- be careful not to tie meaning to whether or not you get what you ask for! Your husband loves you.

Christmas music. I can't get enough of the Pentatonix Christmas station. It's so so so good.

Christmas cookie recipes. Tell me your favorite cookie recipe! Two years ago I made an amazing Graham Cracker Toffee and last year I made Saltine Cracker Toffee -- both are amazing. However this year I want to whip up some new treats, so share your favorite Christmas cookie recipe with me!

Find previous coffee dates here!

Coffee Talk

If we were having coffee (& Oreos) I'd love to chat about a recent life lesson I learned...

Scheduling time to worry. If you're a worrier like me then you should try this strategy I recently learned about to free up your mental space from worry. I know it seems like an incredibly strange concept to schedule time to worry but it's been tremendously constructive to me and to others I've shared this with. I can easily be up in the middle of the night worrying about big things like weathering our first holiday without dad to small things like asking for time out of the office for appointments or vacation in the far future. So for worries that aren't on the immediate horizon, I tell myself that I'll worry about them when the events are closer to occurring and set a timeframe like the month or week before the event. It's sort of the "we'll cross that bridge when we get there" mentality.

The other type of worry I struggle with is when my plate is overflowing with many things happening at once. For example, I recently had a terribly busy week of work travel but also needed to squeeze into my schedule bringing a meal to a new mom, dropping my car off at the shop for some urgent repairs, completing and mailing tons of paperwork, a doctor appointment and the list goes on. I can overwhelm myself worrying all day about how and when I can possibly accomplish everything. To tackle this type of worry I have to carve out specific time to productively think through and plan for all of the things that need to be done. So instead of worrying all the time, I schedule and limit my worries to my drive to work or with a glass of wine in the tub.

Got any worrier tips? Leave them in the comments!

You can find previous coffee talk sessions here!

Coffee Talk

If we were having coffee I'd love to chat about...

The courtesy wave. Is that not a thing anymore? Is it dying?! When someone allows you to jump in front of them on the road or cross the street as a pedestrian you should say THANK YOU! And it's so simple -- just a smile and a wave. It seriously makes me SO ragey when someone doesn't acknowledge the kind gesture. In fact, I wait until I am fully in front of the kind car before I wave just to make sure they see me say thank you! Can we please bring the courtesy wave back!? #2017courtesywavemovement

Brain Fog. I had a conversation with one of my girlfriends last week about how mushy my brain has become. I swear I can't remember anything. In the past week alone I've told Matt the same story twice in one day, I've left swim clothes on the counter for water play day at daycare, I've put a bag of chips in the refrigerator while cleaning the kitchen and the most embarrassing of all...I left my purse on the counter at Ulta over the weekend and didn't realize it until I got home. I was trying to keep track of both kids, pick out mascara and locate my coupon on my phone and somehow forgot my purse...but managed to walk out with both kids, my wallet, my keys and my mascara. What is wrong with me? I am totally losing it. Anyway, a blogger I follow recently wrote a bunch of tips to conquer brain fog. If you're struggling with this too, check it out.

Are you an under-buyer or an over-buyer? I am a terrible under-buyer, specifically for slow moving products like hand soap, deoderant, detergents, etc. For example, when we run out of toothpaste I normally don't have a back-up on hand. So for a day or so I scramble and end up using nasty toddler training toothpaste until I can get to Target. And you know what I do at Target? I buy ONE tube. Why? Why don't I just buy the 3 pack? Well, I hate storing stuff (with the exception of paper products, kid medicines, wine + food -- always fully stocked on all that!) and my OCD heart really despises clutter, even if it's all necessary. And when I do over-buy, I usually forget I have a stock. For example, I have NINE shampoos under my bathroom sink. NINE! And when I run out of shampoo I always forget about my stash and grab a new one from Target. Anyway, maybe it was the lack of storage in our old house that led me down this path, but I'm trying to get better about buying products in bulk on sale instead of making urgent Amazon Prime purchases! Maybe I'll ask for a Costco membership for my birthday...

Now tell me what's new with you! And would you like a bottle of shampoo?

You can find previous coffee talk sessions here!

Coffee Talk

If we were having coffee together...

I'd ask you how you moderate your social media scrolling time. Once collapsing into bed for the night I usually decompress by catching up on Instagram, Snapchat, blogs, etc. And despite being exhausted and desperate for a good nights sleep I often stay up way past my bedtime scrolling past people I don't know, outfits I can't afford, recipes I'll never make, homes that make me envious, and more! I don't know how this even happened (cough, Nordstrom loop giveaways, cough), but somehow I found myself trying to keep up with hundreds and hundreds of accounts -- many of which I didn't really even care about. So I recently did a little spring cleaning as a baby step towards hopefully spending less time on social media. Because if there's less content available then maybe I'll spend less time on my phone, sleep more or maybe even just spend more screen-free time with my husband -- because he's pretty freaking spectacular. The second step was setting a 30 minute scroll limit once I dive into bed. One of my besties is doing this with me too which is nice for accountability!


Anyway, I am happy to report that I am loving my less busy social media feeds. Instead of seeing the same dress over and over I see more moments of my friends' kids being adorable and (for the most part) am following people who I would absolutely be excited to see in the same aisle as me in Target. I still have a good variety of content to scroll though but it's just scaled back tremendously to people, stores, bloggers, etc. who I love and never want to miss a post -- and I've found I can do it in 30 minutes!


Now tell me how you manage your scrolling time. Do you check your social media feeds throughout the day? Or do you limit it to certain times? Or certain amounts of time? Tell me. Tell me! (Judgment free zone here, I promise)!

Coffee Talk

If we were having coffee together I'd tell you...

I confess! I am a bit of a podcast junkie. I usually listen to them to fall asleep or I'll turn one on if I randomly wake up at 2 am and need a distraction from making mental to-do lists. Anyway, normally I prefer my podcasts to be pretty dark (looking at you Sword & Scale) and crime related if it's just me listening. And if Matt is listening, I usually turn on Stuff You Should Know, which is a really fascinating podcast on how stuff works. Anyway, I recently stumbled on the podcast Happier by Gretchen Rubin and am hooked! I really enjoyed her book, The Happiness Project (see my book review here) but her podcasts are even better because they are short and I can listen on my way to work. I have already jumped on board with so many of her tips for creating small habits that make you happier! In fact, I'm a huge fan on her "one minute rule" for tackling clutter or other small tasks.

My new job is going great! Naturally I was nervous to make such a huge change in my career (and I miss my old coworkers something fierce!) but each day I have realized more and more how tremendous this opportunity and change of pace is for me! I have also promised myself not to collect an obscene amount of napkins and silverware in my new desk drawers.

Caroline has hit a monumental milestone -- pony tails. Last week Caroline came home with her first ponytail and I was liiiiike "what the what?! we can get those hairs in a pony tail?!" So at her request I dressed her in a ponytail the next day (and every day since) and it is so hilarious to me. And also impressive considering she lost half of her hair the night before in a remote control car accident that somehow got stuck in her hair and had to be cut out. I swear Matt was near tears as he removed the car. He kept sadly mumbling over and over again "but, but, it took her THREE YEARS to get this hair!!!"

Now tell me what's new with you! And which podcasts do you listen to?!

Coffee Talk

If we were having coffee together I'd tell you... 

Caroline hasn't had a night terror since we stopped dressing in her footed pajamas. This was one of the weirdest yet easiest suggestions we received and I cannot believe that it worked. I've also been told that night terrors come and go based on development so maybe we're on break for now. Regardless, I am relieved our little babe is resting peacefully these days again.

Moving sucks. Like, really bad. It's taken weeks of late nights to box up our house and I never want to do this again. We don't even have a huge home yet we seem to have acquired so many unnecessary things liiiiiike a playstation, 35832750435 DVDs, half used candles, so many unused wedding gifts that end with "maker" (ie: brie maker, waffle maker, etc.) and SO much more. Why? Whyyyyyyyy????

Caroline turns 3 in a few weeks and I'm planning to host her birthday party in our new house. There will be plenty of unfurnished rooms, zero crafted decorations and tons of unpacked boxes but I'm hoping to pull off a low key party shortly after we move in. She requested a "yellow" party soooo hopefully I can at least find the party box with the yellow streamers in the next few weeks...and the wine glasses. Definitely the wine glasses.

I experienced severe mommy-guilt last week. One morning at drop-off, Caroline's teacher pulled me aside to inform me that all the girls in her class have been in the school ballet program ALL YEAR and Caroline gets really sad when she doesn't get to go with them on Fridays to ballet class...and is even sadder when her girlfriends return to class and show off their new ballet moves. Seriously, I had to scoop my heart up off the floor and marched straight to the front office and signed her up for the last 3 classes of the year. You can find me at Target on my lunch break this week shopping for leotards.

Now tell me what's new with you!