Thank You, Birthdays & Babies

We had a great weekend. But before I dive into a recap, I wanted to thank you all for the overwhelming response to my last post regarding Caroline. I received over 100 comments on my post, 300+ comments on instagram and probably an additional 30+ direct emails (maybe more, I've lost count). I've read every single one of your comments and emails and am trying to reply to all of them (except for those who don't have their emails linked - you can fix that by following this tutorial). I cried through many of the stories and words of comfort that you all shared. You don't know it, but those comments are helping me cope with what happened. You have made such a difference in my life during this time and I am forever grateful for you all. Sharing my experience has been a coping outlet for me and I hope that it stirred some of you to take infant CPR, purchase a SIDS monitor and hug your babies just a little tighter.

To be completely honest, I've had a really hard time since we've come home from the hospital. Of course I am completely overjoyed, thankful and don't take even a second with my baby for granted anymore, but there are some lingering raw feelings of terror and sadness. As soon as the sun starts to set I get really bad anxiety, I wake up a lot in the middle of the night fearing something is wrong and sometimes when I walk into Caroline's room I can't shake the visions of that night from my head.

Many of you told me that only time and prayer for peace will heal and I think you are right. We installed an Angelcare monitor (thank you to those who offered to send me theirs!) and each night since we've been able to sleep just a little bit better. So again, thank you for your prayers, keeping my family in your thoughts and the words of encouragement. You all have reminded me of how powerful and wonderful the blogging community is.

Awesome quote right? It's amazing how you stumble upon those when you really need them!

So moving on (balance), we had a really wonderful weekend. Two of my girlfriends announced their pregnancies (same due date!!!) and Saturday night we had friends over for a BBQ and knocked out 3 September birthday celebrations.

In preparation for this year's annual BBQ contest Matt wanted to try out a new Boston Butt recipe for some practice and get some feedback from our friends on the recipe. Last year (post here) his team took home 3rd place so they are motivated to place again this year!

He threw a 10+ lb pork shoulder on the smoker Saturday morning and all day our house and backyard smelled delicious. We tried to keep the mini up for the party but she was pooped from a long day of grilling so we put her down for bed as our friends began to arrive.

I meant to take more pictures (like of the BBQ we cooked all day, my new favorite cocktail or maybe a picture of the husbands?! Oops.) but was so excited to have everyone over that I got distracted. However, I did get a picture of the hilarious cake that Mel surprised McKinsey, Laura and I with for our birthday.

While the husbands did man-things outside the girls got rowdy over a game of Cards Against Humanity. Why am I just now discovering this amazing game? We laughed for hours.

It was a late but super fun night with friends.

We kicked off Sunday with blueberry pancakes, ran some errands, enjoyed a nice long walk outside and relaxed a bit. It was a great weekend. Hope yours was too!